so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
