So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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