Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
