"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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