I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
