i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
