I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
