so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
