I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
