i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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