But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
