I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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