I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
