stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
