Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
