I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
