He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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