i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This is the high leading the old right now
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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