It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
