i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
