my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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