Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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