I should be sponsored by Trojan
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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