Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
