Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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