is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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