I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
