i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
