So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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