I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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