i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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