I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
