In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
