this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
