she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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