is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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