So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
