Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
