Will you blow on my dice?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
