The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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