no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
