the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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