bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
