I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
