I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
