and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
