so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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