So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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