like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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