did you get engaged???
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
