When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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