3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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